Today is chemo #7 out of 8. You can do the math, I am almost done. I am counting down my days. But today I found a new reason to be thankful. Today, I met Lauren. She looked young. Maybe late twenties. She was alone. She had a soft buzz haircut. She looked like she knew her way around the room, so I didn’t think it was her first time. I thought and thought. I would love to talk to her, how do I open the conversation. Let’s go with the hair. Me: Is your hair coming or going? Lauren tells me that she shaved it when it began to fall out and this is what had grown back. So, it was coming. She goes on that she has Hodgkin’s lymphoma. She explained it a bit to me and has chemo every other week with 4 more to go. Trying to just engage, I asked if chemo had been easy on her. She had a quick answer of NO. She said she is queasy to begin with, but gets sick from just entering the room. She had a smelling solution while her port was accessed, she had a blue bag in case she got sick. She remains sick for up to a week, then a week off only to repeat the process. I watched her as she unplugged and wheeled these nasty drugs causing her pain to the bathroom again and again. I can hear her, and it hurts. She comes out strong, sits down for a bit then up again. And here am I… no guilt for feeling good, but I take things like scrapbook stuff to keep me busy for the 2+ hours. I have the luxury of spreading my stuff out and working. She on the other hand, just waits until it hits again. Hodgkins is one of the most curable forms of cancer. And I pray that Lauren will undergo this nasty phase in her life and then never look back again. Where as, Ethan and I wonder. Did it work? How will we know? How long till we hear the bad news that it is back? And words from your doctor like “I like to leave your port in for about a year in case something happens and we need it again” don’t sound good.

But for now, today, this post is about being thankful for what I have. I have a body that has responded excellent to the chemo. My numbers look good. I feel good enough to train for my next 1/2 marathon. I can get up each morning and take care of my family. I have had virtually no signs of nausea through it all and I am surviving. So, thank you Lord for that. Thank you for prepping me and my body to take on this disease. And thank you for encounters like today to remind me. For now, my mind is on Lauren. Wondering how the rest of her day is? Does she have friends or family to help her and they just weren’t there today? I liked her. She was confident. She was strong. She looked like a fighter. Most likely, I will never see her again, but for today she touched my life.

To the day. We arrived in shifts. Ethan and Blair drove one car to TN. The other car rode in the moving truck which came a few days later. And my parents, me and the girls flew in to our new city Aug 1, 2007. We closed on the house and took the family to see the new, empty house. We met our neighbors, we met the heat. We learned about stairs and a baby. We looked for a church, we looked for a school. And by God’s blessing, here we are. I love this place. I miss my family and my life-long friends, but I love it here. God took a huge fear in me and worked it out. To bless others and to bless us. Here’s to 3 years E…and how many more till I get that suburban?

I love this family. People ask how I know Kedra and the best answer I can give is – how do I not know her? As far as I know we have been friends since 1976. That is from birth in case you wonder. We’ve done it all together: preschool, gymnastics, soccer, boyfriends, college, marriage, births and deaths. IT ALL. This friend would do anything for me and since our family vacation to Destin together was canceled, they came here. Thank you friends. It was so much fun.

Ethan and I have agreed to relieve stress and make ourselves feel better by planting pretty things. Those that know us well or have been to the house, have seen the bird sanctuaries that Ethan tries to create. We feed most of the neighborhood birds at some point throughout the year and now we are trying to attract butterflies and hummingbirds. We love the color. We love the randomness we are creating. And the butterflies do too so far.


Attempting to harvest our own pumpkins this year.

Our giant sunflowers. This is even taller than me, and I am so anxious to see them bloom (if I don’t kill them first)

Attempting to get a simple picture of my three girls…..impossible.

The annual 4th of July parade.

And one reason I love this neighborhood. You just need a Nana to buy you something fun and wait for your friends to walk by in the evening. Instant party.

So, yesterday was cycle #4 of the 1st round. Which means, I am half way done with chemotherapy. Seems like I should be celebrating, but I guess the 12 more weeks of round 2 and 6 weeks of radiation are dampering my excitement a bit. But honest, seriously, let me rejoice that I made it through the hardest part. The 1st round drugs are the harshest, the side effects have all taken effect and I am still kickin’. Still singing, still laughing, still here.  So, yes, I should pause and praise God for getting me this far. I will worry about tomorrow when it comes.

I guess I have missed the opportunity in updating my friends on the last few cycles. #2 and #3 were the toughest. I have not been sick or even nauseous, but just feeling down. Tired, wiped, not myself. I think those feelings lead to a saddened state in which I wallow around in for a few days. Then by Monday, I am usually on my way back up and can have a good 10 days before it starts over. I have picked up my running and biking again and that really helps. After cycle #4, yesterday, I did not have to go back and get the Newlastin shot that helps boost my white blood cells. They have remained high – because of the shot, and since it was my last cycle I didn’t need it. So I am very curious to see how much of my side effects were the shot or the actually chemo drugs. Because as of right now, I am doing better than the last 2 cycles. Alyssa has been in VBS all week, so this morning me and lil’ girls ran a few errands then watched Alyssa’s final day program and had lunch with Ethan. It has been a busy day and I still feel good. Hopefully it will continue through the weekend.

I will start round 2 in two weeks which is supposed to be more tolerable. And I will have 3 weeks between each treatment so that will allow for more good days. We have a lot of family and friends coming to visit us this summer since we can’t make it back to Texas. And we are hoping to take a little vacation in late July.

So that is the drug story, now you are all wondering about Julie’s hair – aren’t you? After cycle #1 we shaved it off. Ethan did a fabulous job for his first cut and the girls came and went and watched. They asked questions and Alyssa was concerned what people would think of me with no hair, but in all they took it like champs. We shared a few emotional moments in the cutting process, but it was just another step in the journey. Over the last 4 weeks, I have seen it go from  your typical summer crew cut to almost completely bald. It just slowly came out and each day it would seem a little more. I do not enjoy walking past the mirror, but it is what it is. I am thankful that I can walk around the house and have even ventured in the yard with nothing on my head. Imagine wearing a hat all day long, sometimes your head just needs to breathe. The girls don’t seem to mind and when people are in my house, get ready because you might see the full monty [head]. But when I go out, I have lots of options. I have made a few, bought some fabric that I can just tie around my head, had accessories given to me to dress it up and the latest…. well, see for yourself.

I never thought I would want a wig, but I just love it. I was just missing hair. I got over the self-conscience feeling of being out and this is just for me. Who knows maybe I will just keep the color. Thanks for checking in and I will keep you updated as treatment and hairstyles continue. Love you, friends.

These are my running girls, AKA: Hot Mamas. We trained through the winter, through a time-change, and we were prepared to run together and accomplish this goal as a team. After my diagnosis (ugh, hate that word), I knew I wouldn’t be able to run this half-marathon that we all were looking forward to. But less than 24 hours after my surgery, no rain, thunder, or threat of tornado was going to keep me from watching my girls run their race. They have been with me every step of my “race”, and I was there to support them this day.

The best part was seeing them running in shirts for me. The front said IMMA BE… (We dig that song) and the back said RUNNING4JULIE. Thank you girls for keeping me in the race with you. It was hard to find all of you, but the cheers and hugs I got when you saw me, made it all worth it. It confirmed that this race really was for me. And I don’t care how much you hated this course, we will all be doing it together next year.

And to my running partner, my encourager, my friend Jessica. It killed me to see you running by yourself. Yes, I wanted to run that race for myself, but I wanted to be there for you too. But I know that the “training” we did for 5 months was not for that 1/2 marathon. It was for the “marathon” that I have ahead of me. I am so proud of you for pushing through that race, and for finishing strong at the end…even better that your last one. And that is where I hope to be at the end of my race. I want to say I finished this year strong, and that I am a more complete Julie in the end. And I am now coining the phrase, “we will always have Don.” Love you, girl.

Alyssa, Mayson, Karis, & Molly

Alyssa and Mayson

This weekend some MOPS girls and I ran in the Nashville Zoo Run Run. There was a costume contest so we made a plan and did a great job with the tiger costumes. I understand the funny looks we got as we tried to wait for a table at Chuys afterwards, but I don’t know why the other runners thought we were so odd at the race. With no one else dressed up, we thought we were easily the winners, but we only got honorable mention. Some “cheetah” dressed in…well really only cheetah paint and shorts won instead.

It was amazing to me how fast you start the race and don’t realize it. We were near the front of the start and began to get passed by lots of people. We looked at our watch and we were not going slow at all, but almost 2 minutes faster than our average pace. I can’t imagine what kind of rivalry you get into with other runners with 13 miles to run, because in just 3 miles, I had made a few enemies. (It was a very narrow and windy path) In the end, I did great, thanks to trying to catch Jessica most of the way. I finished 12th in my bracket and ran a 26:17. Not bad for the first time. I think I will have to slow down to my normal pace for a longer race though, I didn’t even have enough in me for that surge of adrenaline that is supposed to hit toward the finish line. Preparing to run a 10K in February now.

There was a 3″ prediction for this morning so school was canceled last night. When we woke this morning to see nothing, we were a little bummed. Shortly after breakfast it started falling and we had a good snow for most of the day.

I finally let them out in it and they had a good 20 minutes of fun. Alyssa insisted that she didn’t need a hat or even socks, but Mommy turned out to be right in the end. They came in, bundled up and had some hot chocolate to warm up. Ethan came home early to make sure he didn’t get stuck in the next freeze coming and of course had to take care of his birds. They are definitely the best fed birds in town. Lucky for us, school is closed tomorrow too, so more of this family togetherness!