We have been waiting for several weeks on biopsy results. The first core biopsy did not have enough live cells to determine the specifics of the cancer, so the needle biopsy was done last week. My original cancer was ER+, PR+ and HER2 -. The docs were at least hopeful that this time it would be HER2+ because that gave them another drug to use to target that protein and basically cut off the cancer’s fuel source. The news today is that I am what they call triple negative (Triple Negative Breast Cancer). All I know right now is that the drug they could have given me to fight the HER2+ cancer, won’t do me any good now.

I did receive some very good news however. The BART genetic test that I took, came back with no mutations. So I am BRCA 1, BRCA 2, and BART clear. My girls will have an automatic high risk for breast cancer, but at least it is not in the DNA.

It’s the day after chemo, and I am doing okay. I notice a little sleepiness, but can’t do much about that today. We will wait and see if the days ahead hit harder.

I come to this office several times a year. A quick checkup, a smile to the people sitting in the treatment room at the end of the hall, and I was done. I think the last time I was here I probably even said, “I am so glad that I am not back there.”

Well today, I sit in that treatment room, and I have my best friend sitting with me. I definitely bring the average age in the room down by 40 years, but maybe I can bring some youthful humor to this place. So far, I think they just all think I am in the wrong place. We have the saline started that they run before the meds. I’ve had the discussion of side effects from the nurse and accessed my port. I’m trying to get comfortable in this chair and settle in for a few hours.

I have had such great encouragement and love sent from so many of you. Thank you for being in my corner as we start this fight.

“As the mountains surround Jerusalem, the Lord surrounds his people.” Psalm 125:2

We have some good friends that have this awesome tradition. At dinner, they go around the table and say the hi and low for the day. We have started doing this and had I been at the dinner table tonight, this would be my answer.

Low: My biopsy.

I woke extra early today to beat the Austin traffic for my second biopsy. I left the house without seeing or talking to anyone. I was fairly confident about this procedure because I have done it before. Either I blocked out the pain and discomfort of this ultrasound driven needle biopsy or today’s was just that much worse. This morning’s procedure was by far the worst thing I have experienced thus far (this time around). The needle, the sound, the pressure was more than my body could take…and I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. My welps and the tears streaming down my face must have brought it to their attention that I was not completely numb. Another needle, more “drilling” (lets be honest, that is what it seems like) and another painful prick into the deep tissue. I was in pain. Physically, some of the worst pain and honestly, emotionally I was drained. I have had 2 weeks of IVs, blood drawn, contrast injected, scans, and discussions of the best way to cut apart my body and put it back to look somehow like a woman still. And there I lay, with people cutting, stabbing into my body to suck out cancer to place in a petri dish. It was just more than I could handle. I have been alone in several of these procedures. Sure there is a tech there that is rubbing my hand like it is actually soothing to me, but I am alone… or am I? I am so lucky that I have a Savior who stands by me in all this. I could feel it. A God who will never leave me, a God who never slumbers. His head is not turned, He is watching head on. He hears my cries, He sees those tears and all I needed in those torturous moments was to feel Him with me. Oh, how I am so thankful to feel His presence.

High: Bunco!

I have been a part of a great group of ladies for over a year that get together once a month to laugh, roll the dice, to just let it all out. We bring money each week that goes into the pot for buying prizes. After a fun night of way too much food and lots of 80s music, I looked around for the prizes. Instead of 5 different ladies going home with a prize, my friends gave all the money to me. I am continually surprised at the generosity of people. The love and support that so many have for us. When I got home, the best part was sitting on the couch and reading the sweet words that each lady wrote to me. God has definitely picked me up several times in my life and moved me. Not to rip me from the friendships I had, but to specifically place me in new ones. He placed me right here, on this street, at this school, at this church, in this group, to serve a higher purpose than I ever dreamed. Thank you to all those who have stepped up and who are proving to me that I am exactly where God needed me at this exact time.

Prayers: Waiting on results from the biopsy,  please pray that this cancer is HER2 + to allow for specific targeted therapy.

Pray that as we begin chemo, the tumor/s shrink.

Pray for wisdom for the doctors who are working together to make the best plan for my treatment.

Waiting on the BART gene results, pray that it comes back normal. The average woman has a 1 in 8 chance of breast cancer. My precious girls already have a 1 in 4 chance because of me. If I have a genetic mutation towards breast cancer, their risk is even higher.

Continue to lift up my family/friends. This diagnosis hurts so many people beyond just me.

Coming up: Surgery for the port on Friday, 21st. 1st chemo begins Monday, 24th. I will receive treatment every 21 days for 6 cycles.

I am absolutely exhausted at the end of this week. Not, “I’ve traveled and had an awesome spring break, so glad to be home” exhausted. Not, “I have cleaned the house, washed 8 loads of laundry and done the grocery shopping” exhausted. Not even, “My kids have been running in and out of the house all day loud and obnoxious” exhausted. I know there is definitely some emotional exhaustion at work, but really I think it is physical exhaustion. Since my diagnosis 2 weeks ago, I have had 9 appointments/procedures, with 5 different doctors and traveled 272 miles. That may look great on my taxes next year, but right now it is overwhelming.

I am so thankful for the people that surround and support me. My husband has been away from work to be by my side for most of those appointments. My friends in town are picking up, playing with or just loving on my girls. My mom and dad have been here for a few days taking care of dinner, bedtime routines and our yard. And I can’t even begin to start on the fundraising efforts that are already in full swing. As we continue to put our trust in the Lord, continue to focus our gaze on him, I am amazed at the blessings that fall on us.

We are still waiting for details about this cancer, but we will continue to move forward. My year looks like chemo, surgery and radiation. Dates are not set for chemo, but the port will find its new home resting uncomfortably under my clavicle next week. If you are interested in following this fight, stayed plugged in here. Some days you may get the long and some days just the short, but my heart will no doubt be revealed like it has so many times before. Thank you for walking by our side.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
2 Corinthians 4:8-9

I have been sketching lately. I fully intended to get on board with the idea of selling printables in my Etsy shop. I would come up with new ideas, sketch and scan, or digitally create a design for customers to purchase. My sketchpad and pens have been out for weeks, only on this day last week, I was sketching to soothe my soul instead of earn money. Convincing and confirming my soul that God is Good.

Friday, Feb 28th, I met with my oncologist to discuss some changes that had been bothering me. For almost 4 years, I had been cancer-free, healthy; healed. But now, I knew something had changed. The area in my chest that had undergone surgery and radiation felt and looked different. My doc took a quick look and ordered a biopsy and CT scan that afternoon. We waited and prayed through the weekend, worried beyond measure. By Tuesday March 4th, I was back with the oncologist awaiting the results of those tests. The CT scan had come back clear…that meant that if there was any cancer present, he could tell it had not metastasized. (Thank you God) But the biopsy had been sent to MD Anderson for a second opinion. It was that Friday, March 7th after preliminary results, that my doctor confirmed the cancer had returned. The cancer does look different, so even as I type, MD Anderson is still looking at it. Since last week, I have met with a radiation oncologist who confirms that radiation is in my future. I have met my oncologist who expresses his concern for this aggressive cancer that has already presented itself twice. I have met with a surgeon who confirms that a mastectomy is necessary. And lastly, today, I received a text telling me that the surgeon who will put in my port is calling to schedule a consultation. If you are following, that means chemo. I hated that word in 2010 and guess what… still do. In the days to come, I have a mammogram, ultrasound and MRI. I believe the surgeon’s words were, “I want to know what I am up against before I go into surgery.” I do not have a firm plan yet as they are awaiting some results from the biopsy, possibly doing a second biopsy and results from a new genetic test for the BART mutation.

Back to God is good. Do you believe that? Look at even your life. Can you believe that?

I can. And I will. I may be face-down to the throne everyday begging, boldly asking for him to take this away, but with all my heart I will believe He is good. He is love. He is in control.

Stick around, FIGHT4JULIE is back on.

“…Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” Romans 12:9

I don’t think it is a secret that my husband loves birds. Birds in the backyard (of which we currently have zero), birds migrating in the sky, birds sitting on power lines as we drive by at 70mph, and especially rare birds within driving distance of our home. This is our whooping crane adventure.

The whooping crane, the tallest North American bird, is an endangered crane species named for its whooping sound. It is one of only two crane species found in North America. There is an estimate of only 400+ left in the wild and we saw 3 of them. They established a winter home at Granger Lake in December, outside of Austin, and Ethan heard the news. We all headed out searching for the cranes. It wasn’t hard to spot them based on the collection of old people and scopes. We followed the crowd and got a peek at a pretty cool piece of nature. And as a bonus, we spotted a bald eagle sitting in a tall tree. Pretty amazing even for us who aren’t totally consumed with birds.

Don’t let these photos fool you. The girls took one or two looks and then played in the dirt for 30 minutes.

This is a photo through a telescope. We could see it a bit more clear with the scope, but it sure made me wish Ethan had one of those really expensive scopes to see them crystal clear. To my surprise though, many an old lady asked to see the cranes through his scope and were impressed with the view. He must know what he is doing.

Before I can move on and show you pictures of where we are now, I needed to backtrack to what we came from. I know I mentioned my friends, my support, but I would like you to see their faces. And one day when I make this blog into a photo album, because who knows when I will ever get back around to scrapbooking, I want to remember each one of them.

Jessica

Sean and Audrey

Kari and Shayna

Bosquet kids and mine

Anna and Megan

Amanda, Stephanie, me and Dana

Karis and Dakota

Alyssa and Presley

Do you have one? I think everyone deserves at least one generous, thoughtful, totally committed to your life, sweet friend. And I know God orchestrated so many things in my life to bring JB to me. I have many wonderful friends in TN. Many friendships that God has blessed and I will deeply miss. But sometimes there are friendships that you just can’t explain. How did we really meet? How did she go from just an acquaintance at MOPS to the first person I call to have a laugh with or a listening ear? We have enjoyed a passion for running, shared our accomplishments and defeats. We have shared our struggles of motherhood, been around to encourage or just talk some sense into each other. JB is one of those people that would do everything in her power to help. She asks how you are. When she says she is praying for you, she means it. She is a Godly woman, who loves her family and her husband and loves her friends well. But despite my love for her and how much I will miss our runs and early morning phone calls, I am not sad to leave her behind. Because I know she is a once in a lifetime friend. One that will always be around and never just slip through my fingers. Besides JB loves Austin, so she will be around for one reason or another. Thank you, girl, for teaching me, loving me, and most of all walking through life with me. Now dry your tears and bring me one of your famous “happies” to help me get this packing started.

One random day a few months back, JB found this women’s triathlon and we thought it sounded like a great idea. The training on it was actually a little easier than I recall for the 1/2 marathons and what a rush of accomplishment when we finished. They announced over the speaker your name and “you are a triathlete”. Should have been a “mini-triathlete” but I will take it. It was just so fun to try something different.

I was most nervous about the swim. You enter the pool about 10 seconds apart and I was worried about bumping into or passing people. But the tough part came for me on the bike. I had trained 8-9 miles once a week for the last several weeks, but I really didn’t feel like I was on my game. I mean, I get I am not the fastest. I placed 139 of 227 which is by no means top dog, but I just felt bad as I watched a handful of girls pass me on the bike route. I still say, my back brake was rubbing the tire and it was causing some drag or I was working too hard in the wrong gear, something… surely? I think the transitions didn’t do me any favors either seeing how #1 girl did T1 in 52 seconds and mine was 3min 33sec. I finished it up with a 2 mile run which I felt like I had down good. My legs were not cooperating as well as I liked, but I did good on that stretch.




The best was that our families were able to come and cheer us on. The race and crowd was very small so it made it easy to see each other on the course. We looped around Centennial Park so the kids got to see us several times. Second best, was of course doing this with my friend. This was the first race that we both were healthy and feeling good. We didn’t get to race together, but we knew the other was out there too. I love you girl. Another in our books, friend.

How quickly it really goes. Childhood, summer, life… all of it. Here we are ready for another year and Alyssa was ready too. Summer is fun, but she (and her mom) enjoy the structure of school schedules. We had a few jitters and a few “I am nervous”, but she did great. We met her teacher earlier in the week and Alyssa gave her a hug at the door (of course she did) and walked right in. Found her seat, obeyed her directions and was off. She gave me one last look as to say “mom? stay.” But we both knew she was fine. Here is a little clip to document some of her thoughts at age 7.