1st Day

Today was Alyssa’s first day of Kindergarten. It is only a half day, but I didn’t realize how much this would really be a first day for her…or me. I guess I have been thinking, she has a few half days, and then really starts on the 25th. But when you get the lunch packed, get dressed, eat breakfast, walk them into class, see the teacher and friends and then walk out alone, you realize… this is it. This really is her first day. And if you had asked me in the months leading up to this day, I would have said, “Oh, we are so ready. I am ready for a break and she needs more from me than I can give her. No, I am not sad, I am looking forward to this time.” Of course, all that is true, but would you be surprised if I told you I had to use my tissue that they handed out at the Tears and Tissues breakfast this morning? Everything was fine, she transitioned into the class wonderful and was playing on the floor when I left. She gave the teacher a hug when they met and waved good-bye at me. I chatted with a few parents, asked a few bus questions, ate my donut and then decided I was done. It was not until I walked to the car that I felt this emotion build in me. What? Where did this come from? I did not expect this. But this indescribable feeling came to the surface. Tears of joy, tears of excitement, tears full of memories of the last 5 years with my baby girl. This is the beginning for her for so many things, and it is these milestones that really make you aware of how fast they grow up.

Lord, watch over my girl today. Let her feel loved. Let her feel accepted. Remind her that you are with her and we are here cheering her on. Protect her from harm and bless her with an unbelievably exciting day.


Two years old


Three years old


Four years old


Today at five years old

See more of the first day

Smarty

In our school, the kindergartners start 2 weeks after the big kids. Alyssa has done a K camp and testing this week and next week has two more half-days of fun before “real” school starts. I have been trying to get her up and dressed like we were going to school so that both of us can adjust to the schedule. So far, she has missed the bus everyday but this one. And technically, she was in the middle of eating breakfast so we wouldn’t have made it that day either. She enjoyed going outside with the big kids and waiting for the bus. Lucky us, it stops right next door. She seems excited about riding on it and I don’t know how a parent can turn down this offer from the district. It is like someone offering to drive the carpool everyday. Or I could wake Megan up an hour early, sit in the work traffic to get 2 blocks down the road, to wave good-bye and drive home. Oh, and don’t forget sitting in the pickup line in the afternoon which I have heard is ridiculous. So thank you Williamson County, my child will ride your bus.

Today, while Alyssa and I were coloring, I was telling her how much she knew at Megan’s age. Here is our conversation:

Mom: When you were Megan’s age, you could say your ABCs and count to 10.

Alyssa: I could do that when I was one?

Mom: Yes, you are a smart girl.

Alyssa: But I didn’t know about smoking like I do now. I know some, but I forget all that stuff that you know. (We had a lengthy discussion on what smoking can do to your body.)

Mom: All you need to remember is that smoking is bad for you and it is yucky.

Alyssa: Yeah, and some people know that but they keep doing it because they have an appetite for it. (The word she meant was habit.)

I think with her knowledge of smoking I can comfortably send her to school now. Her first day is the 25th. And I found out that her teacher is an ACU graduate. How cool is that?

Silly, I tell you

In case you didn’t think the other bucket on her head was funny… seriously, I don’t know where she gets this personality.

Megan has also made a smooth transition into her toddler bed. The girls do really well in there together and I am so thankful that this one transition has been relatively easy. Alyssa starts getting up for some Kindergarten stuff this week, so we will see if she wakes Megan or not. We are going to try the tip-toe method out of the room and see if we can avoid waking Megan at 6:45am.

The Fair

We have officially been in Tennessee for a year now. I will be able to easily mark the day because it is when the county fair is in town too. I remember seeing the ferris wheel last year, but we never found the time to go – you know in the middle of moving your family of four to a foreign state and all. So this year, I was ready.

We had a lot of fun. There was dog shows, hog racing, BMX-ing, petting zoo, rides, fireworks, and of course nachos. What event is complete without nachos? Megan is a big fan of dogs, so we thought watching the water-jumping dogs (I am sure they have real name) and the frisby dogs would be fun. They both enjoyed the shows and Megan had people around us turning around laughing because she was cheering them on. We viewed some farm animals like Texas Longhorn, calves, baby goats and sheep, chickens, rabbits, camels even a kangaroo. I would like to know what farm is raising kangaroos. However, with the e-coli signs on every pin, I refused to let the girls touch any of the animals, except the rabbits well and the goats “touched” Alyssa. She wanted to feed them out of her hand and I should have known that was a bad idea. She stuck her hand out and about 15 goats raced to the fence and then I hear screaming and the 25 cents of food is on the ground. You would have thought the goat bit her, but turns out they were just licking her hand. That’s our sensitive child. There were several rides that looked fun for her too, but again, she only wanted on the carousel. Maybe next year, Megan can encourage her a bit.

As we were leaving, we caught the firework show. Alyssa and Ethan sat and enjoyed it while I took Megan to the car covering her eyes and saying “too loud”. All the way home she repeated, “mommy, firewooo tooo loud.” All in all a very fun evening.

More

My silly girl

Megan has such the personality these days. She makes the best faces, screams and yells, gives the “can’t believe you just said that to me” look, dances to all music, shows off, loves to copy “sissie”, and still gives the best hugs and kisses. I took some cute ones of her today, at 22 months old, while we played upstairs .


Sad face


Surprised face


Happy face

More new pictures in the “Around the House” gallery.

Sisters

With baby sister and Kindergarten coming soon, I decided to go ahead and make the switch and put the girls in the same room. In the last 2 weeks, they had shared a room at Nana’s, Blair’s and the hotel. It seemed logical to just keep them in the same room when we got home this week. They were both very excited and so far are doing great. It is actually easier on me too, though Megan is still in the crib. When I move her out, I have a feeling that will be a little more difficult. For the last few months, since the disappearance of “paci”, Megan has put up quite a fight at bedtime. She liked to scream at me as I left and continually call, “mama, mama”. Alyssa is usually good at bedtime, but liked to call us back in her room at least once to say, “I can’t sleep.” Or whatever else she could think of. But as of night #5, we have read books, said our prayer, sang together and then said good-night. I walk out and do not hear from them until after 8 am. Alyssa has slipped out quietly a few times while Megan slept, and the other mornings I hear them quietly talking. Alyssa will climb in bed with Megan and play. I love that they enjoy each other right now. I know it will not always be that way. Alyssa is so sweet and loving toward Megan and is just a great big sister. Think we can fit three in that crib?

Goodbye to the quiet

We took a drive last weekend into Dallas. Luckily, the girls were making their way from Houston so it was an enjoyable drive. Not much to see though since it was mostly interstate. We spent a few days with Blair and Nicole and then celebrated my Papa’s 90th birthday.

Oma joined us in the car on the way back to Memphis where we spent one night. We met with Alison and Ryan and visited the Memphis Zoo before we all headed to our house for the week. I came up with this brilliant plan, succumbing all of us to 100+ degree heat only to see the polar bear. The employees at the zoo were very lucky that the bear decided to make an appearance and swim around a bit for our enjoyment.

We played around the house for a few days with family. Alyssa would have hung on Ryan all week if he could have handled it. She would chase him around the house or constantly ask to play his Wii (or really just watch him). Then Ali and Alyssa did some painting.

Thanks to Oma, Ali and Ryan for taking to time to visit us and spend time with the girls.

In the Quiet

It is quiet in the house today. We took a last minute visit to Houston this weekend and left the girls there. My parents will meet us in Dallas on Thursday for my grandfather’s 90th birthday. I usually find myself on the computer during quiet moments. This morning was no different. I began by doing some work I needed to finish for a client, moved on to blogs, and found myself watching Noah’s video. Have you seen it lately? I love to see his precious body. The video scans up and down him as he lay in his first NICU bed. We didn’t have any idea that something was really wrong on that day. But I love to see him breathe. I love to look at his little toes and his precious body. I guess that video is as close as I can get to him now. Lately, I have found myself more emotional than usual, pregnancy I guess. Like last night, I was crying – multiple times – at the movie, Definitely, Maybe. Then couldn’t control myself after a silly, ridiculous comment Ethan made that just seemed to hurt my feelings. So this morning, in the quietness, I find myself hurting again. Just a sadness for my loss maybe. Seeing the excitement in Alyssa at 23 months old to meet her brother and knowing now how she misses him too. Without really understanding what she is missing, she just knows there is pain with Noah. Honestly, finding out that this baby was a girl really dug deep in me. Apparently, my motherly intuitions aren’t that good and I thought she was a boy. I had hoped she was a boy. I had prayed for her to be a boy. No one wants to really admit these type of things, but whatever. Of course, Ethan and I would have loved the opportunity to just parent a son. To have a brother for our girls. But it goes beyond that. I think for me, I wanted Noah. That is some way, if this baby was a boy, I would feel closer to Noah. I would have the opportunity to use his bedding, to use his clothes. To let his memory live through his brother. Watching his video this morning, just reminds me thats it. There is no more to his story. I have felt very peaceful about our loss for the last few years. I can talk about Noah and read about him or letters from people without getting too stirred up. But it is still there. You move on, you continue to live, you continue to enjoy life and other blessings. But I am continually reminded that the pain is not gone. As a matter of fact, it feels as it is still right under the surface. I am thankful this morning for my quiet time. I am thankful for opportunities like this to spend with my memories. I am thankful that God knows more than me and find comfort in the following:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I hold tight to this. That God has a plan for us. I don’t know why his plan was different than mine, but it says “not to harm you”. And the fact that I have hope and a future with God is enough for me right now.

21 weeks…I think

Look at that adorable little girl, she has got her thumb almost in her mouth. It is the cutest thing I have seen. Of course, I will break her of the habit if she still thinks she wants to suck on it when she is born. Nobody needs another 5 year old sucking on extremities. (Note: Alyssa did finally stop sucking her fingers at night right before her 5th birthday.) I went back today for an ultrasound to measure the growth of baby sister. Everything is still looking good and healthy. She was so active that the tech was having a hard time. Which made me feel good, because I have felt her very little in the last few weeks. It seemed with the others, I felt movement sooner. But the tech told me the placenta is near the top and is acting as a cushion between me and her right now. As she gets bigger, she will probably drive me crazy with all that movement.

So according to the last ultrasound, she has grown just fine. But measured against the due date, she is 1-2 weeks behind in size. My doc changed the due date early on from 11-19 to 11-14, but we probably should have stuck with the first which was given from 2 early measurements. Either way, she is fine, but it complicates things when you try to induce at 39 weeks. We can worry about that later. For now our baby sister is healthy and kickin’.

Crepe paper bleeds


That was our lesson of the day. It was our first 4th of July parade and we (or just I) were excited. Amanda and I spent the day before decorating the wagon for Megan and Mallory to ride in. We had hats, outfits, flags, and even a bubble machine. Alyssa and I wrapped crepe paper around her bike and she was ready as well. I could not help but remember my parades as a child in Quail Valley. I may have only done it one year, I don’t know, but it just goes with the 4th of July to me. And today I was looking forward to starting this tradition with our girls. We lined up, took a few photos, and then the rain came. And it wasn’t just a light drizzle. Megan decided she did not want to ride in her decked out wagon, so poor Mallory sat there alone, soaking wet. And since the rain was so bad, we couldn’t get the cameras out to actually document the wet adventure. Amanda sure had a good attitude about the whole event and just kept smiling through the rain. I on the other hand, was a little disappointed that my first parade was not what I intended. God has a funny way of continuing to remind me that even these things are not what is important. It looks like it will clear up for the day and we will have a cookout with our neighbors and then take in some fireworks. Happy 4th to all of my friends.