Let me tell you a little story about our Father’s Day. Ethan and I have never been one to give gifts. I guess it is neither of our love languages. We speak of occassions, celebrate anniversaries with nice dinners, and enjoy cakes on our birthdays. So Mother’s and Father’s Day have not been much different. Mother’s Day this year fell on a treatment weekend for me. As I recall, I spent the day… No…. it was an off weekend. It should have been a good day. But I was sick, most likely from low white blood counts, and had a simple cold turn into a long day of rest. I slept the entire day. And if Ethan had come in the morning and said, “honey, we are giving you the day off. Here is breakfast and stay in your room all day and rest…” that would have been awesome. But it was more of “you don’t need to do anything today because your 12 naps today seem like a necessity.”
So today. Father’s Day. We all made Daddy a card. We went to church. We offered him lunch of his choice, but Cracker Barrel was incredibly crowded. So we opted for home. I had intended if nothing else, to give him a day off. (Mainly, because that is what I would like.) So he tried to do some dishes and I sent him away to watch soccer and relax on the couch. (Yeah, me) So, I did the mundane task of unloading the dishwasher only to fill it back up with the dishes in the sink. I attempted to get lunch made for the girls, but lost my temper in the process and broke a dish. Megan asked me, “why did you break it?” I told her that it just broke. Then later she heard Ethan ask, ” Did you get mad or did it just break?” I admitted, “I was mad.” I hear Megan in her sweet voice, “soooo, that’s why you broke it.”
So lunch is underway. Everyone is eating or not eating (like usual). Audrey is throwing stuff off her highchair. Megan is twisting and turning in her chair because she chose to not sit in her booster. And helpful Alyssa, is getting up and down “helping” Audrey with all the stuff she is throwing off. I suppose the kicker was when Audrey continued to bang her hands on the tray in a fit of rage. When that didn’t work, started to grab her hair and pull. Again. I slid my chair back in anger, slapped her in on the hand and said NO. Again. I threw her tray on the counter, pulled her out of her chair and promptly took her to bed. (I did of course hug and kiss her on the way, telling her I was sorry her mommy got so mad. Rocked her for a minute, then she took a nap. I just can’t stay mad at that girl.) Then I crawled into my bed where I proceeded to take a 3 hour nap. Awesome, huh?
So the great part of this story is the man behind this family. He didn’t complain. He didn’t question why I was in bed. He came to check on me, gave me a hug (few tickles) and left. In and out of cycles, I noticed how quiet the house was. But it was not till I finally got out of bed that I noticed what was going on. He had taken Alyssa and Megan to the store to pick up milk (I never have milk) and the ingredients to make my favorite dinner. Not his…. mine. Then they had gone to Lowes. Oh, because before we sat down to eat, I was yelling out the window at the flowers that continue to wilt. Our saying is now: If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the garden. Just the sight of the wilting flowers was pushing me over the edge. So, he goes to Lowes, and spends who knows how much on flowers. Not to replace those in the corner, something is seriously wrong with the water, sun and ground combination, but to make the front of the house look pretty. And as I type this, he is outside washing my car. He knows the way to make this woman happy.
So my story today could be of my father. A man I admire. A man I respect. A man who taught me to pray. A man who through his failures has become more of a father to me than he might imagine. A man who never gives up. A man who loves his family and the Lord.
But today is about my husband. A man who is tired just like me. A man who is exhausted from work. A man who is exhausted from his wife’s illness. A man who needs his downtime on the weekend. But a man who knows how to step up. A man who can put aside a restful day meant to serve him to instead serve his wife. I love you, Ethan. Thank you for continue to take care of us all when I fall miserably behind.
Happy Father’s Day to you both. 🙂 Seriously, Ethan, you’re a man. A MAN! Thank you for being an inspiration, a hero, and a daddy your girls will love their entire lives. I love you.
I dont know how you do it all. Your husband is a great guy. I have been having some health issues myself lately and want to figure out what is going on. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers you are a strong courageous woman and no one should have to go thru what you are going thru right now. Keep your chin up and your eyes on the Lord which I know you already do. In Christ’s love wendy kacirek. P.S. Wish we lived closer to give you and Ethan a break sometimes with the kids. I am glad to hear that the chemo has not made you throw up Praise God for that. Where does Ethan work I am just curious.
What a great story. What a great man. Ethan is a great example of a loving husband for those three girls. I love it.
You’re welcome. I love you. Just keep fighting.
First of all, I just want to say that I really appreciate your honesty in this post Julie. As a mom who sometimes loses it and is not actually facing your challenges, I appreciate when a woman/mother/wife steps up and is REAL about being a woman/mother/wife. Bravo.
Secondly, wow what a great story that is a true testament to what it means to put the needs of the one you love above your own. Way to go Ethan. That is the for better or worse part. That is the in sickness and in health. That is what it means in good times and bad.
Thank you for sharing this story.
you are both an inspiration. I’m so glad that you have each other going through this challenge. Marriage is tough enough just trudging through the day to day stuff. Your story is a good reminder that I am here to serve…not to be served. God Bless you and those 3 sweet little girls!
Toni
AHH! Julie…thank you for admitting out loud that you broke a dish out of anger! I get so mad too. SO. MAD. And I often feel ashamed of how I act when the anger gets the better of me. Thanks for being real, you make the rest of us feel normal. Hugs from Abilene dear one. (and…maybe some of my dishes will hit the floor soon. 🙂
Mandy Flaming
Julie…this story brought me to tears. Not only for how inspiring Ethan’s actions are, but also for your struggle (internal and external). You are an amazing fighter, and I too appreciate your honesty about the anger and shortcomings of motherhood. I have, on more than one occasion, prayed for God to erase the boys’ memory of the day. You are a precious woman, and I am praying for your strength and energy.
Jill
Julie,
First I want to say … You are one amazing woman! The Lord is shining His face upon you … and you are touching lives with your happy, brave spirit. Thank you for your comment on my blog … I read your blog and cried. And laughed. And said, “God you are amazing, you make me so happy in all you do for your children.” I want to meet you and Ethan and your adorable, precious girls. I must meet you … we need to hug each other. I had my first chemo treatment this past Monday … came home … crawled in my bed with a girlfriend and read your blog. I was touched- really moved. I have been praying for you, Ethan and your girls … your parents and entire family ever since. I will continue to pray. The Lord does not want His children to be sick … claim your healing in Him and know you are healed. His word tells us over and over of His desire to heal his children … for by his wounds your are healed!!” Woo Hoo! I admire you. I applaud you. I don’t know you- but I love you! We must talk via phone, until we can sit face to face. You and your precious family will be covered in my prayers. I am honored to follow your journey. Keep your funny spirit and amazing attitude – I think it lightens the load a bit, do you? I will find your phone number and call you soon. Take care most precious one … I am so happy and honored to have the opportunity to follow your God blessed journey.
Blessings, Peace, Strength and Laughter,
Jill Greer