Lord, I wanted to hold my little boy on my lap and tell him about You.
Since I can’t do that, will You hold him on Your lap and tell him about me?
~Anonymous
Noah would have been 2 months old yesterday. Amazing the time has gone that fast, and somehow it seems like a year ago since I held him. Alyssa and I have been letting balloons go to Noah almost daily now. We got the idea when I saw hundreds of balloons lifted into the air at a church function. I was imagining them making their way all the way up to Noah. A friend of mine bought me a helium tank so we can make our own balloons whenever we want. Alyssa asks,”Make a balloon for Noah?” So she picks out the color she wants, we blow it up, and we walk outside and say “Here you go Noah”, then let them go. Alyssa watches for a bit then forgets. I, on the other hand, stare into the sky and watch that balloon for as long as I can. And wonder if it could actually make it up to my Noah. Wonder if he looks down on us and joins in the fun. Wonder if he knows that I miss him so much. I ask Alyssa if Noah is happy in heaven and she says “Yeah!”. But you know how smart kids are, when I asked Blakely the same thing she said, “No.” I said, “Why is he not happy?” Blakely said, “He misses his sister.” Amazing that four year olds understand the pain too.
I miss you Noah.
hmm… thats about all i can say. its nice to hear what you are doing daily to remind yourself of Noah. Instead of forgetting him. I’m glad Blakely is aware of it, to me it seems she will be more compassionate towards others when she grows up. Knowing that pain exists, but also knowing that God is above any pain. As its quoted in the Celebrate Recovery ministry, “God never wastes a pain.”
there are many hearts still listening and hurting and loving with your family. you truly are a veseel for God to show his unfailing love through and a testament to how his love overcomes. may he ease your hurt a little more today.
It’s funny how often Cade ask to get a balloon for Noah. Not for himself anymore, but one to send to Noah so “we can play”. I often get one for him to send ahead. How wonderful it will be to see Noah with his hands full of balloons. Cade always list Baby Noah in his list of those he loves. We all love him so and miss him dearly.
Julie,
I am not sure if you remeber me I was in Kojies with you. I think I pledged when you were a senior. Becky Brooks told me about Noah and really encouraged me to read this site. I just recently was pregnant and I went into preterm labor. I delieved Ethan on June 3, 2005. I was only 22 weeks pregnant. I find comfort in reading what you have written. I thank you for your courage.
Chantelle (French) Read