I apologize for leaving many of you hanging… surely you knew I made it past Day 2. Day 2 involved a Newlastin shot that tells my bone marrow to make more white blood cells to help me fight off infection. A side effect of the chemo will be that it attacks white, red blood cells and my platelets. So Day 2, Friday was a little slower, still no nausea. I sat with some friends at a garage sale that afternoon and the story goes that I walked over my normal cheerful self and slowly began to sink lower and lower in my chair. I was “forced” to go home and nap by my good friends and nap I did. Pretty much slept the rest of Friday, but Saturday held a whole new day. I was tired, aching (like the flu), emotional, anxious, worried, uncomfortable. That was the day of the horrible rains that flooded Nashville, but I was pretty out that day. In hindsight, it really wasn’t too bad, probably very flu-like, but in the moment I felt horrible. Not sure if I could continue with this over and over again. [Keep in mind, I didn’t tell anyone that]. But then Sunday came. It is like the resurrection. I woke up at a normal time, took zero naps that day, ate and felt good. I guess that is the cycle. Day 1 – Day 3 continue to worsen, then Day 4 I begin to build back up. Now that I know what to expect, I may be able to tolerate that Day 3 better.
This week, I went in to get my blood count checked – white, red, platelets. All looked good except my white blood cell count was very low. It is expected, one reason they give the Newlastin shot, and she expects it to climb back up before my next round next week. However, they couldn’t get any blood out of my port. The device they surgical implanted to be able to access the vein easier for treatments. Hopefully it was only a fluke and it will do its job next week. As it stands, me and the port aren’t friends anyway. So, basically low WBC means that I am a risk for infection. So I am doing my best to keep my family healthy and learning to use the hand gel mom has placed all over the house. I ask you to do your part and remember that during treatment, getting sick is a bad thing for me. If you or your kids are even the slightest bit sick, please understand what that could do to my family. I don’t have to keep any of us from crowds, but we just need to use common sense when it comes to germs.
And here is me now. I received a great book from a friend called the Support to Go The Unbook for Breast Cancer. One thing I loved the first day I started it was it told me to write this on my mirror. To wake up and look at that everyday. I don’t have to be 5 years out to claim this. If I heard the news that I have Cancer and did not fall out of my chair and die, then I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR. I loved that. It gave me strength that day. Alyssa wants to write something good on her mirror too. It gives me strength and courage to fight this every day. Because I don’t have to just fight the cancer every other week and chemo. I have to fight it daily. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. It creeps in every day. Right now my fight is as I look forward to my hair falling out. I am anxious. I am scared. I may have a post about it. I may not. I know it will happen. Sometime in the next 7-14 days. I know I will be fine. I will make it as cute as I can. But I am not thrilled about the process. The when and how of it. So not letting the physical aspect of the fight get me down is the prayer request now. And if you find a cute hat and head scarf or fabric, send it on my way. I have high hopes of finishing several head ties, but I am afraid my time is running out. But who knows, maybe I could be the first woman with my type of chemo who doesn’t lose her hair. I think I could give God the glory for that one absolutely!! Hang with me friends. I have hit mile 3 of my half marathon.
Whaley’s, just wanted you to know that I have the 1 a.m. time slot covered to pray for you all each night…not because I am some spiritual giant ( I am actually just a dufus that Jesus happens to love 🙂 ), rather, I have trouble sleeping of late and am up at that time each night. I found it’s a great peaceful time for me to sit and listen to God. Take care.
Your neighbors, Joe, Terry, Hannah, Tommy, and Cassie Speno
Right behind ya friend… Love you!
Have been thinking about you all week Julie and was glad to log-on and see this update. I think that book sounds perfect and just the right thing to come along at the right time. Love when that happens.
I do think that with anything, the more you are able to plan and anticipate the “norms” (like there could be any such thing) of this process, the easier it will be to deal with the side effects as they come. I think the unknown, the limbo phase, the waiting with anything is just so hard and exhausting. Hang in there and keep on keeping on!
Love,
Ashley
I think about you every day. And I pray. Thank you for the update. I check so many times every day. I had been wondering…but didn’t know if you felt like talking on the phone. We are behind you! We love you!
Hey Julie, you enter my mind at random points quite often. You are near to me; to the Hays clan here in St. Louis.
As for the hand gel, we bought and installed two wall-mounted hand pumps back in Brooklyn when Ira came home from the hospital. Yeah, like the ones you see in hospitals. You can find them on amazon.com along with the refills. It’s so worth it. We found that chasing bottle-pumps everywhere was annoying. And so anytime anyone walked through the door, whether it was neighbor Heath Ledger or Sophia’s little school friend, we said, “hang gel, please.” It got to the point with most of our friends, that we didn’t have to instruct them any longer. Be vigilant about it. I really do think it saved us from a lot of infections.
You are loved, sister.
So glad to hear it got better on Day 4. I think Ethan and I spoke on days 2 and 3 and then I didn’t hear anything else. Well, sounds like 4+ are the ones to pray for. I’ll keep on praying! I love you – don’t worry about the hair (if you can…) I think those bald heads are beautiful!! You’re gorgeous always. But… I’m also sending some head-wear your way. I’ve been collecting and making it for a while. You’ll have some new stuff to look forward to!
Thanks for the updates Julie. I’m praying for you. At first glance, I thought you wrote “You are a cancer survivor” on your ceiling! I wouldn’t put it past you but the mirror makes more sense. I’m here for you. You’ll be beautiful with or without hair and no, I wouldn’t be surprised if God made an exception with you!
Hey, thanks for the update and honesty about what you are going through. You are amazing! Praying for you and your family.
Julie…
I don’t have a cute head scarf to send your way, but I do have a PINK Astros hat picked up at Friday night’s game, with your name on it. When I saw it was pink hat night, I insisted Fred & Aidan get there early and get me two! If you don’t want to wear it… then real men wear pink, and Ethan can proudly sport it for you. OR your girls can fight over it… as mine already think the one I’m keeping to wear for you belongs to THEM!
Praying each day for you.
Julie, you look beautiful!!!!! Always adorable–no matter how you “style” your hair! With God, we are more than conquerors. We already have the victory! Reading of your experiences . . . humbles . . . quiets . . . inspires . . . May God continue to uphold you and your family.
Julie,
I’ve been checking your blog and just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you daily. I know that many people are praying for you with confidence in your complete healing!
You are constantly on my mind. Praying you are comfortable and for overwhelming peace today. xo
Just checking your blog. I hope you feel strengthin the prayers of so many. My heart hurts that you are going through this. None of us are immune from these things. You are such an example of pressing on when times are not fun. I pray for complete healing for you. And for your precious family.
I have followed your Blog since Noah was born. I have no idea now how I even came across it now. You have been in my prayers through the years. Tomorrow I am walking in the Relay For LiFe in Flat Rock Michigan. My daughter and I are making Tshirts and writing on them that we are walking in memory or honor of an then the names. Your name will be on our shirt. Continue to Fight Sister.
I too have followed your blog since the birth of your son. I am so glad that you have chosen to write about your journey through this cancer. I just lost my mom (49 years) to breast cancer in October. She had faith much like you, leaning on our Father to get her through her journey. In the end, he chose to take her home to be with him. I am still saddened, as anyone would be, but your blog brings me comfort, in that, even though you go through this valley, you still are focused on the Healer! You are in my thoughts daily, as is your family. Even though we are complete strangers, you are an inspiration to me and many others! Keep up the fight and keep your eyes on Christ.
Julie and Ethan,
We are praying for you and your family every day. You are constantly in our thoughts.