The days seem so long, but yet so short. And though the last 7 days have been the hardest of my life, I can’t believe that they have gone by so fast and my precious boy is a week old. What a week this Earth shown him.
As I sat at home, comforted by a dear, old friend of mine, we talked about the fact that we may never know in our lifetime why God sent our son to us the way he did. I questioned myself to my friend saying, “What if I had been induced 1 or 2 weeks earlier? What if he were born before this “acute trauma” had a chance to happen?” My mind was telling me that I was ready for Noah to be born. Was it a sign? She of course assures me that God’s will was done. If he was meant to be born earlier, he would have been. So we struggle with the WHY? HOW? Though I may never understand to the fullest, I have already seen the amazing things that God is doing through Noah. Those who come to the blog often have probably read many of the comments. I have probably received as many in email as well. It is just an amazing thing to see the body of Christ form around our family and around Noah. Noah is bringing hope to others, bringing prayer back, and bringing the actions of Jesus out in so many people. I had 13 emails in my inbox tonight and I did not know a single person who emailed me…. and it wasn’t spam. It was 13 people who had heard word of this from someone and wrote incredibly kind and encouraging words to someone they do not know. I truly believe that God is using Noah and, according to many of you, using us as an instrument for his will. Though we struggle, though we are sad, though we are confused, God is using our life for good. And I will echo loudly the words of my husband, “I do not like being an instrument of God’s will.” But then neither did Jesus.
The days are getting harder as we come to terms with the idea that Noah may never get better. He may never open his eyes or talk or walk, or even eat. And that is hard to think about. We have are “ups” when we are encouraged by our family and friends like you, and our “downs” when the doctors must lay out the facts for us. We try to find a place in the middle to rest. Virgil pointed out to us that we are in a state of grief. Grieving for a baby that we lost. While Noah is alive, we did lose the baby that we were expecting for 9 months. We lost all the hopes and dreams that we had for that baby. I had not thought about it that way, and it helps explain alot of the feelings we have. We still must go through the grieving process for that baby.
I have decided to spend most of Wed and Thurs with Alyssa. I know that she is missing our “old” ways, and I want to give her some reassurance that Mommy and Daddy are still here. I want to spend time with her and love and hold her the way I wish I could with Noah. It is hard to choose which child to spend the day with, but for now I think Alyssa needs it more. We will visit Noah at night once Alyssa is in bed, so please pray for strength and perserverence for the next couple of days. I think they will be long.
God bless all of you who support and love us,
Julie
Julie,
My heart breaks for you and Ethan each time I read your comments or even think about Noah. Although it is so difficult to be away from Noah, I believe you are doing such a wise thing spending some “normal” time with Alyssa. Try to enjoy Wed. and Thurs. with her, just being her mom for a while. Music really speaks to me and there is a fairly new song out by Natalie Grant called “Held”. It is so moving. And I’m reminded of the words “This is what it is to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fell, we’d be held.” You, Ethan, and Alyssa are obviously loved by many and held by them now, but most of all you are loved by God and held by Him. My prayer is for you to feel His arms around you and be comforted in a way only He can give.
Dear Whaley Family,
Charles and I are praying for you all daily. I can’t even imagine the feelings you all are having, but I do know the love that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ gives to us all. We pray daily that He is comforting and holding you all in His loving arms. May God’s peace be with you all.
Julie: I hope that you and Alyssa have a very good day, today. You need that time with your precious little girl and she needs that time with you.
I’m praying for you and your family daily.
Love, Lynne Jones
What is “normal” from the world’s perpective has changed from what it was a week ago. But you have demonstrated that your faith in God is what is truly “normal.” Just as our Father thrills to his children calling Him, be thrilled by your precious daughter. And just as our Father longs to draw His children to Himself, draw Noah and Alyssa to you. And as Virgil said, “grieve” for what has been lost, and find the comfort under the wings of our Lord.
Julie, as a mother, I do pray that God will give you the strength to go forward each day. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I know your heart is heavy and each day is painful but you are a strong person with wonderful family and friends surrounding you. And precious Alyssa, she will give you strength and bring you comfort in her own sweet and innocent ways. We continue to pray for Noah and your family many, many times a day.
Stephanie Weiss
Whaley Family,
We cannot begin to know or imagine what you and your family must be going through. As I read your comments I was truly moved. Please know that our family will be continually praying for little Noah. We believe that God is cradeling you and your family in His arms. We know that God has great plans, though at times they are not obvious, just remember to hold strong to Him and He will hold you up. Our heart aches for you and we pray all God’s best for you and your family and especially for Noah. In His Grace and Mercy, The Veraldi’s
Dearest Julie and Ethan,
We continue daily to pray for all of you. I’m not sure I’d have the same strength you all have shown this past week. I know what a blessing from God children are and we struggle when our hopes and dreams don’t happen the way we plan them. Both of your babies are precious and God has entrusted you with Alyssa and Noah because you will love them unconditionally not matter what!
We continue to pray daily for all the family. You are an amazing source of strenght to us. You’ve no idea how far-reaching your love for Christ is or will be.
Toni and Norm Hilton
Ethan and Julie,
I think about commenting each time I visit the site and then don’t because we don’t know each other all that well. However, Ethan mentioned that as long as people keep reading, he’d keep writing…so I’m another person you can know is reading daily.
I’ve prayed more prayers and shed more tears over your family in this situation with Baby Noah than I can think of perhaps ever doing with any other situation in my life except maybe for something that has immediately involved me or a close friend or family member. I ask myself why that is considering I don’t know you that well. Part of it is the tug at a mother’s heart…I can’t imagine going through something similar and my heart just breaks for you. Much of it, though, is having this website to get updates. It allows me to pray specifically throughout the day for what you are asking for–for Noah, for yourselves, for Alyssa. It is so amazing and inspiring to see your hearts as you write your thoughts and feelings here. You are literally changing lives with this. I know it’s not a ministry you asked for or one you want, but it has become yours and God is using you as such vessels for His glory. I hope you can stay encouraged. I will continue to pray boldly for Noah’s full recovery and for your strength and perseverance.
In Christ,
Denise Cummings