I am not sure why I am awake, again, at this hour. But here I am. Ethan and I are overwhelmed by the number of comments and emails we have received. The news of our Noah has literally spread around the country in days. From best friends to high school friends we have not heard from in 10 years. We are blessed by the body of Christ that surrounds us. Thank you for all your prayers, I know they are working.
Steve did not mention our miracle-prayer today. After receiving devastating news that Noah was not likely to be anything other than what he shows us today, which is a beautiful baby in a “vegetable-like” state, we were immediately surrounded by family and friends at the hospital. We talked and cried and eventually were led in a prayer by Hal. A beautiful site to see. A group of 20 or more in a circle in the middle of the waiting room. We lifted Noah up to God and asked for a miracle. Immediately after those words, the waiting room phone rang. We did not answer, but know that it was a call from God saying, I hear you and I will show you what I can do. After that prayer, we returned back to be with Noah and his condition had improved. He arches is back, deliberately moves his arms and legs, grasps your finger slightly, has a little eye movement and a slight suck reflex. At first his neonatal doctor said, “Good”. But did not sound like he really believed me. Later that day, as nurses and doctors saw these movements, they were more and more amazed. Ethan had asked them if they had an explanation for these small miracles, and I immediately spoke up “GOD”. What does this mean for Noah? We do not know. I truly believe it is God’s way of showing me that He is still in control, and He can answer our cry for a miracle. I went home with a little hope tonight.
I would also like to note some thoughts from a friend of my brother, who is going through something similar with her precious baby:
I put mascara on today. I think it was my way of saying that today was going to be a good day; that I wasn’t going to cry to the point that it would all run down my face. It’s the end of the day and I still have it on. I guess its been a “good” day, for me anyway.
I walked with Sophia to the park this afternoon and all I could think about was that I should have two kids with me now. There is a certain void everywhere I go that will only be filled when and if Ira comes home. I was telling Joe a couple days ago how weird it is to go from being pregnant to not. To go from everyone staring at me (I was just so big) and giving me their seats on the subway (most of the time) to becoming just another face in the crowd. Usually new moms have their baby in tow like a trophy they can show off to those around them of what they’ve been through. I have nothing. I walk around knowing I had a baby two weeks ago but nobody else knows. It makes me wonder what burdens those around me are secretly carrying in their heart that nobody knows about.
Ira is so beautiful. I love the smell of his skin. I love to stroke his black hair. I love to kiss his cheek and let his little fingers wrap around my one. I long for the day when I will get to hold him, when my touch won’t cause him to de-sat (de-sat = fits = plummeting stats). I wait for the time when his cry will no longer be silenced by tubes but will be heard by everyone around.
My thoughts to Laura are as follows:
Laura, I had been keeping up with Ira and the struggles in his life on a daily basis. Sometimes checking the blog several times a day, just waiting for an update. I did that until this past Tuesday when my precious Noah was born. Since that moment, we have joined your aching hearts on a roller-coaster ride with his life. The main difference between us is that we assumed we would give birth to a healthy boy and bring him home days later to meet his big sister (2). There is also a difference in our babies health, but there are so many similarities in the things that really matter. I read your notes tonight and after a “terrible” turned into “hopeful” day, I begin to cry again. EVERYTHING you wrote, I feel too. I look around my house and see what was supposed to be. I see his bed next to mine, that I imagined pulling him out of every few hours to feed. Then I see the pump, that now takes the place of his beautiful, soft lips. I see his toys, that his sister wants him to play with. The double stroller that was supposed to take us around the block together. I long for the days when he was tucked safe inside me, though now I even wonder when that was. I too, love his smell, his skin, rubbing his dark hair. I am amazed by the responses we receive from our blog, our church, our friends. But it does not replace the feelings I have to want to open my eyes and this to be just a dream. To just say, “ok, God…. now” and look to see if his eyes are open. I am there with you Laura, and I will pray for you everything I pray for myself.
– Julie
I pray for you and your precious baby.
Steve and Julie,
We are praying for you as you walk this most difficult valley. May God’s precious peace envelope you as He cares for your precious son.
Love,
Cheryl G
My thoughts and prayers are with you Ethan and Julie and Alyssa (I love that name) and particularly rest on little Noah. You are so blessed by the family that surround you – Steve and Jennifer, Brad and April – and the many others, and the host of friends who are there with you, and those who are before the Throne praying unceasingly for you. May our Father hold you up, and our Lord heal little Noah. You and he are surrounded, both here and in God’s presence, by love and hope,
Always
Julie, My heart and prayers are with you constantly. Love, Sandy Besso
Julie and Ethan,
Your faith is so evident and so amazing to me. Thank you for your example. I am so sorry you are having to walk this long and hard road, but you are not alone, for God is right beside you and we are your prayer warriors.
Sent with a prayer-
Jeri Davis
Our family will be in prayer daily for baby Noah and you all during this time. We found this story via the Hays family blog, and I’m glad that we too can lift prayers up on Noah’s behalf. May peace, comfort and strength surround Ethan, Julie and Alyssa – and healing power to be with Noah.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I read a verse the other day that made me realize that when seasons in our lives seem so dark, that it may God’s grasp holding us so tight, everything just “seems” dark. He IS there, and He will bring comfort at the worst times in our lives, and yes, even miracles. Just know that your family and especially Baby Noah are being prayed for.
Ethan & Julie,
Know that are prayers are with you daily for God’s evident working and a miracle in precious little Noah’s life. When Lane was so sick with RSV the doctors told us how lucky we were that I was holding him when he quit breathing. It was later than normal and he was usually in bed. We know that it was not luck and that God made sure he was taken care of. My prayer is that God too will heal Noah and perform a miracle. I also prayer for God’s supernatural peace to be with you at this time.
Christi
Our prayers are with Baby Noah and your family. We are uplifted by the power of God’s response to your prayer in the waiting room, and we long for the time when your family will be united and and your son is fully able to wake up beside your bed and cry for his mother.
Julie and Ethan –
Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. It’s incredibly uplifting to experience the deep trust you have in God through reading your words. It confirms that the power of God within you is strong, alive, and sufficient.
I woke up praying for Noah and a miracle this morning. But your words let me see an even greater miracle — God living inside ordinary people and making the extraordinary.
Know how much we care for you and your family.
Julie and Ethan – We marvel at your strength and know it is of God. Our hearts are on edge for you and your precious son and we have only one place to go, the throne room of God. Praise Him that he cares you and He cares for Noah! We are in prayer with you … Tim & Kelly
Hi Julie & Ethan,
I am a friend of Joe & Laura Hays and have been praying for baby Ira. I want you to know that we will be praying for Noah as well. My husband and I know how you feel almost exactly. Our little boy, Elijah, who will be 1 year old next week, was born weighing 6 lbs 15 oz as well, and was supposed to be perfectly healthy just like your precious little boy. When he was a few hours old, he was taken to have his first bath and they never brought him back. He had stopped breathing and had a seizure while they had him in the nursery so they transported him to the NICU. We did not know what was going on for days and days…finally it was determined that he had a blood clotting disorder which had caused a blood clot to hit his brain, causing a stroke, which caused the seizures. He has had many MRI’s, and sees a neurologist and hematologist, and has been on seizure medication since he was born. He was in the NICU for 8 days (the longest 8 days of our lives) and after he was able to breath on his own with no seizures after a certain amount of time, he came home. I know the details aren’t important, but we just know how you feel – the shock of expecting a healthy baby and ending up with a sick one. Elijah is doing wonderfully now and is developing normally (they thought he might have some brain damage) – he has another MRI this summer and may be able to come off the seizure medicine soon. I know the circumstances are different for our sons and I’m sorry if you’ve heard so many stories about other people’s children – I remember feeling that way – just know that we are praying and we know how you feel. I think God gets the glory when we can use our pain to identify and sympathize with others. Love in Christ, The Cox Family
We pray daily that it is God’s will to heal Noah. We know the power is His and he is faithful, He has a plan. May God’s hands be around you all, keeping you safe. We love you and pray boldly for healing!
My husband is friends with Joe, and we have been praying for Ira. When I clicked on your blog, I realized that we were Kojies together, Julie. I will be praying for Noah as well. May God bless you and strengthen you during this time.
In Him,
Rae (Hanan) Boswell
When the Dr’s look worried and have no answers, remember that God’s resources have not begun to run low.
Praying that you will find strength in His promise to work all things together for good.
Ann Hill
Julie and Ethan,
You are such an amazing young couple. So strong in faith, love to each other and your family. I know that God will continue to hold you up and bless and watch over sweet baby Noah. Prayers are coming your way from so many – people you know and those you don’t know personally. You are in our thoughts constantly. God Bless each of you.
Janet and Randy Graham
I was roomates with Laura in school, and I also found your blog through their’s.
I know what it is like to expect a healthy baby and have one who is not – the miracles God performed for us included giving us the comfort and strength we needed right when we needed it, and making our memories of our time at the hospital and NICU so sweet – which is amazing when it was so bitter at the time. He also brought healing to our baby through the doctors there, and we are so thankful.
I do not know what is like to walk exactly in your shoes, but I know that it takes courage, support from people, and faith in God – and you seem to have all of that. I will be lifting your whole family up in my prayers.
It sounds like God has been working miracles already.
Kaley (Alexander) Ihfe
Julie and Ethan,
I am amazed at your strength and my heart goes out to you. I too believe in the power of prayer and the miracles of our Savior. I have been praying for precious Noah and for your family ever since someone at work forwarded me the blog page.
God bless you,
Marie
Julie & Ethan,
Thank you for sharing your heart’s cries with us so that we can so specifically be praying. We are on our knees in prayer for your precious family. We know that even when you are not physically able to touch Noah, the Lord has not stopped holding him in His healing, loving arms. We pray for a peace to be upon you unlike any that we can understand.
Chad & Ashley Baker
Ethan and Julie,
Thank you so much for sharing all of your thoughts and emotions with us. As we are crying with you, we are also joined with you in prayer for your family’s peace and comfort and God’s will for your precious Noah. We praise God for His miracles and thank Him for seeing His love through all those who are holding you close and lifting you up in prayer. We pray that you will continue to feel your Father’s arms around you.
Robert and Shannon Aaron
Julie and Ethan,
I was contacted via an email from a friend to pray for Noah and you and your family.
We have been praying for ALL of you since May 4th and will continue.
Always remember that Noah is a Child of God and that HE is ALWAYS with Noah and with you all, constantly reminding us that HE is in control and always has a plan for each and everyone of His children.
May His Divine Love and Compassion be delivered through prayer and His intercession of Noah’s recovery be shown in small miracles that you are all witnessing each new day.
A friend through Christ our Lord,
Louise P.
Julie and Ethan –
we just heard of your precious son and the journey you each have been on from some dear friends of ours. We have been following baby Ira’s story for some weeks now and in prayer for his battle and to hear of another amazing family kneeling before Him with very similar prayers – our hearts simply ache. We will be lifting you up as this journey continues and pray that His peace will overwhelm you – know that He truly is embracing each one of you right there where you are…every single moment..never for a minute leaving your side. Noah is being held by Him and only He can pull the amazing, miraculous, and beautiful from the toughest of times…
God bless you and your precious family!
In Him,
Matt, Michalle, and Jeb Sessions
-Hey guys, I have so many thoughts and feelings with Noah right now and the past week. If nothing else, he has brought prayer back in a way that could not be done otherwise. I look forward to each time that I am able to go in and see him and touch him. Each time, I think, this is it, he is going to open his eyes and see us. I know that the doctors and nurses are doing all they can. Now that they have said nothing further can be done and he has a 0% chance of improving, this is exactly where God can step in. I think He shines through in times when no answers are found and no solution is available to man. He has pulled through with so many miracles in the past, some much more extreme than this one. So why not with Noah? He has his own time frame and his own plan. Whatever it is, I trust he will do the best thing for Noah and our family. Noah has more love being given to him right now than some people get in a lifetime. I believe he knows we are there with him, and he knows how much he is loved. I can’t help but think of him each time I cuddle, wrestle or just look at my boys. He is so perfect and beautiful. I pray constantly for a miracle and for God to make him whole and complete. I have full faith it can be done. Whatever happens in this, know that I am there for whatever is needed. I love you very much!
Uncle Brad
something i just posted on the ellerwebblog… thought I’d share it in the comments section for you guys:
God called Noah….
well, here it is, some days later, and my little nephew has spent his entire life so far surrounded by physicians, nurses and angels. Held by the hand of Jesus and covered over with love from his family and friends. It sure has been hard to just sit and watch, with no ability to fix and correct. I have found it of some comfort, somehow, somewhere, that God is in control. And maybe thats why I have not wondered, or lost faith. Faith is tested, and made strong, right now, I’m sitting in the refining process, as I’m sure Julie and Ethan are as well. Will we allow God to burn off our impurities? Will we stay still while he molds us to the shape he desires of us? Will we remain in his hand? For now… I will. Will you? Mold me and make me. I trust God’s will over mine. I’ve seen his work in the past and thats what gives me hope for todays struggles and tomorrows life.
Julie and Ethan –
We are praying boldly for Noah’s complete recovery. I believe that God can heal him and that is what I pray daily. The unknown is so frightening from a mother’s perspective, but God knows Noah and holds him in His hands.
We love you, Paige and Mark Cawyer
Julie and Ethan,
You are a precious couple. Your dependence on God inspires all of us.
I have been out-of-town all week, but Emily has been keeping me posted. My entire class has been boldly praying for a miracle, for complete healing. May our great and glorious God reveal his awesome power through little Noah.
This is the first time I could get on-line. How wonderful to hear how God is surprising the doctors with his progress!
Nancy K.
Julie & Ethan,
We are in continual prayer for God’s peace and strength to be with you all during this time. God is being showered with prayers for Noah. You guys are an awesome testimony of faith and courage!
Thank you so much for the daily updates on Noah. We love you guys, and we are daily lifting up Noah, your entire family, and Noah’s team of drs. and nurses to our All Powerful God!
With love,
Jerold and Sherri Givens
Julie and Ethan…
What a testamony your faith has been since the birth of sweet baby Noah. This is a time when so many turn away from God and you are putting this all in Gods hands. What an inspiration! You are proving that God is in control of all that happens. Every update Tiffany gives me I hear more good news of things Noah has done since her last visit. Hallelujah! May God hold your family in his arms and heal the sorrow and sadness you feel. Please know that our warmest thoughts are with all of you.
Jon and Kris (South Carolina)
We, too, are friends of Joe and Laura’s but are now friends of yours as well. Baby Noah will be in our prayers. We truly believe that God can heal.
In His perfect love,
Michael, Denise, Chloe and Phoebe
Happy Mother’s Day, Julie. You are an amazing person. Continue to show Noah your love,strength, courage, patience, and your unrelenting faith in God. Julie and Ethan, know that we are constantly praying for you, your family, and sweet precious Noah.
God Bless you all.
Love,
Thomas and Staci