I have been sketching lately. I fully intended to get on board with the idea of selling printables in my Etsy shop. I would come up with new ideas, sketch and scan, or digitally create a design for customers to purchase. My sketchpad and pens have been out for weeks, only on this day last week, I was sketching to soothe my soul instead of earn money. Convincing and confirming my soul that God is Good.

Friday, Feb 28th, I met with my oncologist to discuss some changes that had been bothering me. For almost 4 years, I had been cancer-free, healthy; healed. But now, I knew something had changed. The area in my chest that had undergone surgery and radiation felt and looked different. My doc took a quick look and ordered a biopsy and CT scan that afternoon. We waited and prayed through the weekend, worried beyond measure. By Tuesday March 4th, I was back with the oncologist awaiting the results of those tests. The CT scan had come back clear…that meant that if there was any cancer present, he could tell it had not metastasized. (Thank you God) But the biopsy had been sent to MD Anderson for a second opinion. It was that Friday, March 7th after preliminary results, that my doctor confirmed the cancer had returned. The cancer does look different, so even as I type, MD Anderson is still looking at it. Since last week, I have met with a radiation oncologist who confirms that radiation is in my future. I have met my oncologist who expresses his concern for this aggressive cancer that has already presented itself twice. I have met with a surgeon who confirms that a mastectomy is necessary. And lastly, today, I received a text telling me that the surgeon who will put in my port is calling to schedule a consultation. If you are following, that means chemo. I hated that word in 2010 and guess what… still do. In the days to come, I have a mammogram, ultrasound and MRI. I believe the surgeon’s words were, “I want to know what I am up against before I go into surgery.” I do not have a firm plan yet as they are awaiting some results from the biopsy, possibly doing a second biopsy and results from a new genetic test for the BART mutation.

Back to God is good. Do you believe that? Look at even your life. Can you believe that?

I can. And I will. I may be face-down to the throne everyday begging, boldly asking for him to take this away, but with all my heart I will believe He is good. He is love. He is in control.

Stick around, FIGHT4JULIE is back on.

“…Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” Romans 12:9